Swali Kwako...

                                                       

Mambo...
Mara nyingi tukiongea katika Society kuhusu abuse - kinachokujia akilini hapo hapo ni abuse kwa wanawake from wanaume na abuse ya watoto from wazazi... But kuna abuse ambazo hazimulikwi kabisa- abuse to men.... Na kinachoumiza zaidi nikua apart from wanaume hawa kuwa baba, babu, uncle, cousin, kaka nk  sisi wanawake wanaotuamini na kutuheshimu ndo wa kwanza kuwacheka na kuwasema kuwa wanastahili etc.., They are silent victims. Manake research zinaonyesha kuwa almost asilimia 45 ya wanaume walioko kwenye ndoa wanakuia abused na wake zao... Wengi wakiwa hawana pa kushtakia, hawana wa kumueleza na hawawezi to fight back manake watajisababishia tatizo kubwa zaidi..
Anyway swali leo ni kwako.. Ni sababu zipi hasa hupelekea wanawake (mke, girlfriend, mistress) kum abuse mpenzi wake?

                           

Ukiwa una tatizo ambalo unahitaji advice katika Tatua Thursday - feel free kutuma emal -
barbshassan@gmail.com au sms +255 759 008500

have a lovely day,
xoxo

Wangu Wa Makeri - Unamfahamu???

Hellow,
Leo my colleague Gerald Hando amenikumbushia mwanamke huyu Wangu Wa Makeri. He took me way back nlipokua shule and nilisoma kwenye vitabu vya history about this "superwoman" aliyekuwa anachukiwa na all men folk wa Kenya kwa jinsi alivyowadhalilisha na kuwatesa wanaume! Unamfahamu Wangu Wa Makeri?
               

                                        


Wangu wa Makeri alikua leader wa kwanza wa Kike katika kabila la Kikuyu nchini Kenya. Zama hizoooo wakati wa wakoloni.  According to the legend, wanawake wa Kikikuyu walikua wakiolewa - mume anakua anakumiliki, kwa hiyo however atavyojisikia kuku treat ndivyo atafanya. Na pia akiamua kuwa utapata kipigo kila siku - ndo hivyo itakavyokua.. Si kakutolea mahariiii? (SO SAD)
Kwa hiyo, Wangu Wa Makeri alipoteuliwa na wakoloni kua mkuu wa Wilaya, akatoa machungu yake yote kwa niaba ya wanawake wooooote wa Kikuyu.... Oooohhh don't mess with a woman scorned!!! You will taste her wrath!!!! Anyway, soooo baada tu ya kupata that cheo Wangu Wa Makeri akawaonjesha hell wanaume! To pay back kwa mateso walokua wanapata wanawake at that time...
Alizaliwa mwaka 1856 mma cheo cha ukuu wa wilaya alipata mwaka 1901. Ilikua haijawahi kutokea kabisa mwanamke kupata a high cheo like that. Wangu aliwaumbua sana wanaume. Inasemekana alikua anawapanda kama farasi, yaani mwanamume gets on all fours kisha Wangu anampandia juu, na huyo mwanamume anaanza kutambaa kama mtoto! Aliwatumia kama viti na pia sehemu ya kutuliza her legs.. Pia katika mapenzi alikua anamchagua yule amtakaye, na kumfanyia vile atakavyo. Ole wako usimridhishe! Cha moto utakiona!! Alikua akichukua hadi wanaume zaidi ya wawili and have sex with them kwa wakati mmoja.. Ulidhani vimeanza juzi hivi?? Mbona loong time mambo haya yapo?
Ila hii tabia yake made her achukiwe sana na wanaume manake alikua anapitiliza kuwatesa na kuwaaibisha men. And kumbuka alikaa madarakani for 35 years!!! Miaka yote hii akifanya atakavyo. Duuuuu.. Wanaume walikoma wakati huo! In the end, kilichosababisha kunyang'anywa cheo pamoja na kifo chake was mgongano kati ya Wakikuyu na wakoloni.
That is Wangu wa Makeri!!! Reputation yake ya kua na many lovers na hamu ya kukalia wanaume vichwani bado inatumiwa kama weapon till today katika vita ya gender, wakisema kua any woman who loves power and money katokea kwa ukoo wa Wangu wa Makeri!!!

 PS- kwa maoni, advice, maswali na mengineyo - wasiliana nami -
 barbshassan@gmail.com or sms - +255 759 008500
                                                
Wishing you a lovely weekend..
xoxo

Tatua Thursday....

                                    
Mambo vipi Barbara?
Naitwa Alice. I'm in a fix!!! Nilikua ndani ya relationship na kijana niliyempenda sana sana.. Tulianza toka tukiwa form 3 and tulikuwa wote for approximately miaka 8. Ila miaka miwili ya mwisho alikua Ulaya ambapo alienda kumaliza masomo yake. Nilivumilia kuwepo kwenye long distance relationship. Kumbe huku mi nikawa najibana and kujitahidi kuwa faithful mwenzangu huko alikua anajiachia na wanawake tofauti tofauti ambapo baadaye nilikuja kuona picha kibao katika facebook yake. Nikaona why niendelee kupoteza muda nikimsubiria mtu ambaye ni dhahiri kuwa amesha move on. Manake mawasiliano yalikua hamna tena - wakati alikua akinipigia baada ya kila siku mbili. Anyway, nilimpigia kumwambia kuwa tu end mahusiano yetu ila akawa hapokei simu wala kujibu e mail wala sms. Ilinibidi kufanya maamuzi mwenyewe. Nikaamua  mi na yeye basi! Nikaingia kwenye mahusiano na mtu mwingine anayenipenda kwa dhati na ananijali kupindukia. Ninawa na furaha tele moyoni. Baada ya mwaka akanichumbia na kuleta mahari kwa wazazi wangu. Sasa hivi tumeoana na tunaishi kwa furaha sana na tayari tuna mtoto mmoja mchanga.
Kivumbi kilitifuka siku yule boyfriend wa zamani aliporudi nchini. Alinitafuta ofisini kwangu na hadi nyumbani kwa fujo za kila namna, akisema nimlipe kwa kumpotezea muda na kumuumiza kisaikolojia. Analeta mambo ya huko Ulaya. Sasa kati yangu mimi na yeye nani anatakiwa kumdai mwenziwe. Anyway amekua akinipigia simu hadi saa 6 za usiku, sms zisizoisha, leo ananidai kesho ananiambia baby come back!
Tunakoelekea huyu bwana atanisababishia niachwe na mume wangu. Ni kama anafanya kusudi kuniharibia ili nirudi kwake. Na mie sitaki na nimeshamwambia mara kibao. Uzuri ni kuwa nilishwambia mume wangu story zake kabla hata yeye kurudi. Now nachanganyikiwa. yeye alikua na chance na mimi na akaipoteza mwenyewe, now kwa nini anifuate fuate na kuniharibia? Anajua jinsi gani nilivyoumia na kulia kila siku? Atanilipa machozi niliyoyamwaga muda wote huu nilipokua nalia juu yake? Nimechoka! Kwa nini inakua ngumu mwanamume kukubali kuachwa? Naomba ushauri.. Nifanyeje?

Ps... Karibu umsaidie Alice kwa kutoa maoni yako. Na kama una tatizo ambalo ungependa litokee kwenye Tatua Thursday feel free kunitumia email - barbshassan@gmail.com au sms +255 759 008500

xoxo

Happy Valentines Day...

                       

                                  

Hallo...
Kwa wewe ambaye ushaulizwa na mpenzi wako "Will You Be My Valentine" ,

                  

 Kwa wewe ambao bado unaotea ni nini utapewa as a Valentine gift leo, Kwa wewe ambaye leo ni kama siku ya kawaida tu because your lover anakua romantic mwaka mzima, Kwa wewe ambaye leo hii unataka ujionyeshe upendo to yourself, your children, wazazi au marafiki, Kwa wewe ambaye hata huna habari kama leo ni Sikukuu ya Wapendanao - Im Wishing you A Happy Valentines Day and Im Wishing You All The Best Katika Maisha Yako Ya Mapenzi...

   lots of hugs,
xoxo                                

A tribute to Whitney Houston - A tribute to my mama......

                                        


Mambo...
Kifo cha Whitney Houston kilinistua and it's basically because the late Susan Kilembika (my biological mother) alikua anampenda Whitney vibaya mnoooo.. Kwa hiyo it brought fresh memories of kifo cha mama... Ila nakumbuka sana mama alikua anaandika nyimbo za Whitney kwenye vitabu ( hii tabia ilianza looong time)... Na nyimbo za Whitney zilikua zinachezwa all the time in my mum's house.. Automatically nikakua nikiimba nyimbo za Whitney - tena bila kukosea the lyrics...
Kuna kipindi - when i turned 18 nilitaka kuwa msanii (in fact nili record wimbo mmoja_ usiulize uko wapi) - guess who inspired me - Whitney.... She has been a part of my life... Kiukweli hata wewe - wakati ulikua unapitia problems in your love life, au furaha isiyoelezeka - whose songs zilikua zinaring in your head kama sio wewe kuziimba aloud - in your car, in the bathroom.nk. Movie ya Bodyguard uliiangia how many times?

                                                    
Unakumbuka zamaaaniii watu walikua wanasema kuna beef between Whitney na Janet Jackson? Eti wanamng'ang'ania Bobby Brown? Then fans wa Whitney wakafurahi sana - eti Whitney ndo alishinda hivyo vita and thus getting married to Bobby Brown!! Heheheh.. It seems like jana tu all these things happened.
Anyway kwa jinsi my mum alivyokua anampenda Whitney I hope since hakuwahi kumuona Live hapa duniani - Kua ataweza kumuona na kupiga naye story in heaven. I pray for these two angels...

                                     
                                                      (My mama and I)

R.I.P Whitney Houston
R.I.P Susan Kilembika

P.S - I'll keep singing Whitney's songs - coz at the same time namkumbuka mama... My favourites - Greatest Love of All, How Will I know, All The Man That I Need, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Where DO Broken Hearts Go, Didint We Almost HAve It All, Saving All My Love For You, I'm Your Baby Tonight, So Emotional and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Wiiiilll Alwaaaaaaayyyyyssss Looooveeee Yooouuuuuuuuuuuu.....
And one of her quotes that moved me to tears.. " I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy."

hugs...

Tatua Thursday....

"Hello Barbara... Nimevutiwa sana na swala la wanaume kulalamika kuhusu zawadi tunazowapa wakati wa Valentine. Kwa kweli mie wa kwangu alikua anaishia kupata - key holder, pen, tai, vest na boxer. Ila yeye huniletea zawadi kubwa kubwa kama hereni za dhahabu, pete ya tanzanite, wakati mwingine hela, laptop nk. Naomba ushauri wa nini nimnunulie mume wangu wa miaka 10 chenye thamani ya penzi lake kwangu na uvumilivu wa kupokea ma boxer muda wote huu pasi kulalamika.
Irene"

                                                 

Mambo Irene na wengine woooteeeee...
Niliahidi kuwa na "Tatua Thursday" kwenye blog yetu. Leo tutamsaidia Irene na wengine wenye the same problem. Siku zinazidi kukatika while we are heading to Valentine's day.
- Wanaume are boys in their hearts. Wanapenda sana Toys - sio toys za kitoto.. namaanisha hizi gadgets!!!! So you can buy for your Man/boy friend, fiancee, hubby - Ipad 2, Wii, Digital camera, cuff links, a watch, A simple nice gold/silver chain au bracelet, Kama ni mpenzi wa michezo - mchukulie hata jezi ya timu anayoipenda uandike jina lake at the back, kama ni mpenzi wa golf - buy for him set nzima ya kucheza golf - this is a bit on the high end, Nguo - in his favourite colour, Perfume, Shoes, A phone - ambayo amekuwa akiitaka kwa muda, aquarium, Leather bag la ofisini, Business card holder, nk..

                                                       
But even if unaweza kumnunulia vyote hivi au kati ya hivi ma lovey dovey tusisahau!!! Siku ya Valentine's unaweza kumpikia his favourite food, chill some wine, vaa some sexy new lingerie ambayo hawajahi kuiona, do your hair, kucha, make up kiduchu...

Motto ya ladies wa Wanawake ni sisi for this Valentine's is - "Look Good Enough To Eat This Valentines"

*Kisha muntumie picha eeeeh nione how good you like plus picha za zawadiiii... tu share jamaniii...*

                                                        
All the best
and mapenzi tele...

Valentines Day!!!!!!!

                                

Hellllooooowwww....
Msini shoot bure.. Nilikua naumwa malaria jamaniii...   Nisameheni buree..
Anyway 7 days to Valentines.. Umejiandaaa andaaje kwa ajili ya siku ya wapendao? Ushamnunulia mpenzi wako zawadi? Au you are still thinking of what utamnunulia?
Juzi nilitumiwa hii message - Wanaume wananalamika kuwa - Wanawake wanataka wanunuliwe expensive gifts wakati wao wananunulia wanaume cheap stuff!!! Is this true? What is the most expensive lakini romantic gift you ever bought for your mume/boy friend/lover???
Message yenyewe hii hapa - Valentine's day is a problem day!!! Because sielewi how a set of people (mnajijua) would want to exchange boxers and singlets for perfumes, watches, jewellery, phones pamoja na hair (the topic of giving hair as a gift is for another day kwa sababu hukuzaliwa na upara! Scientifically a woman cant be bald, so why buy hair?) It is completely overwhelming!!!! Don't you know what equitable exchange is? Ni sawa kubadilishana boxers na a Galaxy Tab on Valentine's Day? Or exchange a singlet for a Bold 5? How can you give a belt and be expecting an iPad2? Ladies enough is enough!!! The boys are not smiling. Try and impress your men this year...
If you know you are buying singlets, boxers etc.. please expect a similar responce, that's fair enough; Let's raise the bar mwaka huu, and accept these words of truth and advice in the spirit of LOVE.
From the Comittee of Concerned Men (CCM)
Haya changamkeni wenye wapenzi!! Kimesanuka kwa wanaume!! Wamechoka kunyanyaswa!! Wao ndo watoe vitu vya bei ghali tu.. Hahhahahhaa...

                                                                                     

Hugs...