Why women cheat - Comments ...

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Why women cheat...

Hello,
Jana kuna movie nilikua naiangalia ni nzee kidogo. Inaitwa "Chaos Theory" - Ndani ya ile movie kuna a guy ameoa na wana mtoto mmoja.. Long story lakini to make it short ilimbidi kwenda hospital to chek kama alikua baba wa another child - sio yule wa kwake. Akakutana na majibu asiyo expect. He found out kua ana matatizo na 'chromosomes' zake ambapo ugonjwa huo ulimsababishia awe mgumba - as in he was shooting blanks all through *not funny* - Yule kaka alichanganyikiwa. Try and put yourself in his shoes... Umekaa miaka yote ukijua mtoto ni wako kisha BOOM!! A bomb explodes in your life. Your wife cheating on you!
Then nikakumbuka ule msemo - "Amjuaye baba mtoto ni mama"
Hii story ilinikumbusha a few years back in Dar Es Salaam - ilitokea kwenye familia moja - kupitia matatizo ya afya ya mtoto mmoja - ilibidi familia imchangie yule mtoto damu - after damu kupimwa ikafahamika kuwa yule mtoto hakuwa wa huyo baba. How many other stories kama hizi zipo around? Nyingine hazitufikii tu.
I personally know a lady kaolewa ana watoto wake - but she's cheating on her husband. Kila siku hua najiuliza why anafanya hivi? And nooo, bado mume wake hajamfumania!
Kwenye blog hii, tunaruhusiwa kurekebishana pale tulipokosea. Kwa leo turekebishane about cheating... But you know what maybe tungeanza kujiuliza - Why do women cheat?
Wanawake wengine tuna cheat and make it sooo obvious kwa husbands/ boyfriends - ni kama tunataka kuwaambia indirectly (I'M CHEATING ON YOU!!!) au sometimes tunanogewa zaidi huko nje!

Je - wanawake tuna cheat because of  the following ? :-

- Upweke - mume labda anakua too busy for you na kazi / biashara/ his friends
- Revenge - Unalipiza kisasi baada ya kumfumania mumeo
- Sexual Satisfaction - Labda hufikishwa pale unapotaka wewe
- No excitement - Kama ile iliyokuwepo wakati mukianza mahusiano
- Kutojaliwa - Unabadilisha hair style, una loose weight lakini baba mtu hata haoni tofauti na wala hasemi kitu
- Kuboreka - Munakua na routine kabisa - home, work, home - hamtoki pamoja
- Kutoonyesha Affection and admiration - labda mwanzoni alikua anakwambia anavyokupenda and maybe alikua anakuonyesha pia - kuleta flowers, vijizawadi (sio hadi asubiri valentines) etc
- Tamaa - Yeah binadamu (wanawake kwa wanaume) wote tuna tamaa - yes ya kimwili!
- Kuwahi - Unahisi kuwa mumeo/ boyfriend will eventually cheat on you kwa hiyo hutaki kuwa yule atakayelia zaidi.

Whatever our reasons za kucheat - badala ya kuweka hiyo energy yote kwa relationship tuliyo nayo, kwa nini tunapoteza that energy in a new affair?
Its just a thought...
Maoni?

P.S - kesho ntafanya compilation ya some things ambavyo vimefanyiwa hao tunao cheat nao na our husbands/ boyfriends...

have a lovely day
xoxo

Wangari Maathai

                                                        

Hello,
Wazima? Asubuhi hii nilipata information kupitia twitter kua - Wangari Maathai amefariki. Wangari is a Kenyan lady ambaye ni mmoja kati ya wanawake wa KiAfrika that I look up to. Why?
Well, She was a mpiganaji, msomi ( baada ya kuwa mwanamke wa kwanza Afrika Mashariki na Kati to earn a doctorate degree, very tough, na alikua na confidence ya hali ya juu. Na pia alikua mtetezi wa haki a wanyonge. I remember zamani aliongoza wanawake waKenya kutembea uchi barabarani wakishinikiza Chama tawala kwa wakati huo KANU kuachia political prisoners. And to top it up akawa The first ever female Nobel laureate from Africa mwaka 2004. She was an enviromentalist. Alikua pia anatambulika zaidi kwa ajili ya nywele zake - yaani sijawahi kumuona akiwa na any other style apart from Rasta.
Weirdly enough juzi tu kutoka kwa one blog ya Kenya niliona an article yenye title - 

The 7 Most Badass Kenyan Women

katika namba 5 alikuwepo Wangari Maathai na maelekezo yafuatayo.
#4 Wangari Maathai
Now, most women in this list have made it because they had the balls to fight it out with men, or they had the power to do so without fearing for any repercussions. Not so with Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Wangari Maathai, who has lost more than her fair share of braids in acts of sheer balls and badassery! Other than being the first EA woman to obtain a Ph. D, she was divorced by her husband, because, as Wikipedia and court documents show, “she was too strong-minded for a woman and that he was unable to control her” which one can read as ‘she refused with the cake”. After the divorce, she refused to drop her husbands surname because she felt ‘Wangari Muta’ did not sound badass enough. She added a simple ‘a’ to make the name Maathai, different from her ex-husbands ‘Mathai’. When the government was cracking down on her organization, The Green Belt Movement, she learnt of the plans to buid a sky scraper at Uhuru Park (the horror, where else would we go for cheap dates).

oh yuh, and the headscarf hides the scars..

 

Later in 1992, she was marked for assassination and she locked herself in her house. It took the police three days to cut through the bars and arrest her, most probably not smelling like a woman and looking disheveled but still….badass! She was at it again later that year when she went on a hunger strike at what is today Freedom Corner at Uhuru Park. She is said to have been the force behind the mass stripping by women at Freedom Corner as a protest (tru, men with boners are easier to argue with, huh?). Oh yah, that and she had the balls to tell the Time Magazine that the West did create the HIV/AIDS virus. Such balls!

Wangari Maathai alifariki jana usiku at Nairobi Hospital of cancer-related complications akiwa na miaka 71.

God giveth and God taketh away.
May her soul R.I.P

ps. excerpt from - http://www.owaahh.wordpress.com/
Too Late For Worms

Have a fruitful day
xoxo

Bar Maids...

Hello,
Last week nilikwambia kuwa nitafanya kaji research kangu kwenye bar tofauti tofauti. Nilifanikiwa na nilichokua nataka to know - nimekiona.
Katika mabar tofauti tofauti jijini Dar Es Salaam ma bar maid wengi (siku hizi) ni warembo sana. And in some bars anayechagua ma bar maids anakua mmiliki wa hiyo bar - anawachagua hasa! Hujawahi kwenda bar ukakuta totoz wa ukweli hadi unamuambia mumeo/boyfriend muondoke? Wanakua na beautiful bodies, faces na wanarembua hatari! Wewe mwanamke ukimsemesha anakujibu kwa hasira, anaposemeshwa na mwanamume anarembua na kujibu tartiibbuuuuu!!! NO honestly ushawahi kukumbana nao? Kwenye ma bar kaa hayo wanaokwenda zaidi ni wanaume. Wakishaanza kulewa wanaanza kuwapapasa. Uongo? Au nimetia thumvi (Chumvi)?
Hebu imagine umekwande bar na mtu wako kisha you meet Bar maid kama huyu hapo!

Hahahahha! Si ndo mwanzo wa kuachika? Salary yote inaishia hapo. Mwanaume anarudi nyummbani saa 9 za usiku!  Juzi nilikua nimekaa na wakaka flani kwenye bar wakawa wanawa admire bar maids wa pale. Wakisema "Daa! hapa kuna watoto matata kweli. Inabidi tuwe tunakuja kuja" NIliwauliza if wanaweza kuwa na relationship na ma bar maid - ukizingatia wanaume wenyewe wote aidha wana wake zao nyumbani au wana madem wa kudumu. Wakanijibu "mara moja moja, why not?"
Nikauliza wanaanzaje anzaje hadi kuwatongoza.Wakasema unaanza kwa kuwapa tip, then unaomba namba kwa kisingizio cha kutoa oda ya food and stuff. Heheheh. Then later unamuita sehemu nyingine kisha Fressshhhh!!!!
So wakati unaperuz through your man's phone (kama una tabia hiyo) ukikata jina - Maryam kuku, Anna mbuzi, Winnie Kitimoto etc etc - jiulize maswali... Chunguza mumeo anapenda kwenda bar ipi, pata kuwafahamu na hao bar maids wa hapo. Labda unaibiwa... Ukute wanavaa hivi..

Utaliaje? Hahahahhahaha...

Its just a thought.. Ila fuatilia...

Love you all and weekend njema
xoxo

Responsibilities aka Majukumu..

           

         

Hellow...
Tatizo la internet naona limekua la kitaifa! Duu! heheheh.. How have you been lakini? Mzima kabisa? Missed you too :)
Juzi i got to hang out na my girlfriends - It's been a long time.. Si unajua majukumu yakizidi. Mara huyu is in a new marriage, yule na new relationship, Yule kapata mtoto etc...
We got talking about kuchukua vacations - I know huu sio utamaduni wetu kama watanzania. But dont you think kuna umuhimu wa kujipa vacations? Anyway - this is a topic for siku nyingine.
Tukawa tunapigishana story za safari zetu za sehemu mbalimbali - ikiwa ni kikazi au binafsi - Of course kama mwanamke utafanya kiji shopping kidogo.
Basi topic ndo ikaanzia hapo. When you go shopping - unampa nani kipau mbele? Is it all about you? Me, Myself and I wenyewe wanasema.
Is it wazazi?
Is it husband/ boyfriend?
Au watoto?
For most single ladies walisema hujifanyia shopping ya wao wenyewe - watanunua viatu, handbags, nguooooooo, wigs/weaves nk. And a perfume for mummy - as an after thought. Heheheh
Kwa wanaoanza relationships - Itakua boyfriend this boyfriend that! You buy mazagazaga kibao for your boyfriend and hukumbuki family. Uongo?
For a married woman - Atamnunulia mama mkwe - katika muendelezo wa kujipendekeza! Hahahah! Although some mothers in law are sweet so wana deserve zawadi. But also utakumbuka watoto and hubby. You might forget hata kujinunulia something.
For single parents - Itakua ni watoto tu and your mum ili kumshukuru kwa kukusaidia kukulelea wanao. Heheheh.

At the end of all this - nikagundua kua we do what we do kulingana na majukumu tuliyonayo. I mean why would a single lady bother about other people? Yupo in her own world. And of coz ana haki ya kujiachia.
Anyway swali ni kwako - When you travel ni nani unampa kipau mbele wakati wa kufanya shopping and why?

PS. Picture courtesy of Shutterstock.com

Have a lovely day
xoxo

What do Men Want?

Hello,
Ehe, so ulijaribu kufanya nilichokwambia kuhusu mumeo/fiance/boyfriend apendaye soccer? Kama you didnt basi you can do it this weekend coz kuna mechi Saturday ya Arsenal na jumapili Man United na Chelsea. I think hizi ni kati ya timu zinazopendwa sanaaaa.. au zilizo na fans wengi zaidi.

Anyway leo asubuhi nilisoma gazeti la hapa nchini Tanzania - Tanzania Daima on page 5 nikakuta habari yenye heading - Jela Kwa Kumlawiti Mkewe.. an excerpt from hiyo article :-
"Mahakama ya Hakimu Mkazi wa Wilaya ya Mpanda imemhukumu Haruna Ndayage (54) mkazi wa mtaa wa Kashaulili, kifungo cha miaka 30 jela baada ya kupatikana na hatia ya kumuingilia mkewe kinyume na maumbile.... Shahidi wa tano ambaye ni daktari aliithibitishia mahakama kuwa mlalamikaji baada ya kufanyiwa uchunguzi iligundulika kuwa aliingiliwa kinyume na maumbile yake."

Jamaniiiiiiii!!!! At least huyu mwanamke alipata akili ya kwenda kumshtaki mumewe coz hakupenda kitendo alichotendewa. But how many other women wanafanyiwa hivi lakini hawajui waanzie wapi and some dont even know kama ni kosa...
Nimejaribu kucheki matatizo tunayoweza kupata kama wanawake if we involve  ourselves in anal sex. Ni pamoja na:-

- Anal sex can lead to stretching and tearing of the anal canal which leads to anal fistulas, perirectal abscesses, and anal fissures.

• After engaging in anal sex there is a risk of contracting vaginal bacterial infections, bladder infections, and kidney infections.
• Because the sphincter muscle was not created by God to dilate continuously like the vagina, forced dilation can lead to future incontinence. Which simply means you lose the ability to hold your bowels. If this happens, surgery will be required.
• Studies have revealed that the person receiving anal sex often experiences unexpressed feelings of shame, and embarrassment which can lead to depression.

Sasa hawa wanaume kwa nini watusababishie we go through all this? Wanaume munataka nini jamaniiiiiii? Hamuridhiki? Khaaa!!! Im soo pissed off na hii ishu.
What do you think?

P.S - Kuna kitu nafuatilia kwenye mabar this weekend nikithibitisha i'll tell you about it on Monday. 

Have a blessed weekend,
xoxo

Relationships ( part 2 )

                                                   


Hellow,
Hope uko poa.. That day niliandika about Relationships part 1 nilichambwa kidogo, I was told kuchek defination ya neno "Compromise" na nilielewe vizuri.. Nikaambiwa kwa watu wanaopendana lazima wa Compromise each other. Haya nikacheki meaning ya compromise - Kulegeza mkanda au kubadilisha msimamo wako ili kumfurahisha mwenzio..  Kufikia mwafaka ili kila mmoja afurahie au deal lifanyike...  Heheheh.. Duuuu.. Ngumu hiyo! Ila kama kweli unampenda and unamjali uta compromise..
U probably have a boyfriend, fiancee au husband au Man friend! Hivi unajiskiaje wakati wa msimu wa mpira? Iwe ni Serie A, UEFA, World Cup or whatever? Na hata kama muna uwezo wa kutosha ukanunua dish anang'ang'ania kwenda kuangalia at the Bar ili aweze kushangilia na his fellow fans and "kutukana" wakikosa magoli nk. Mechi nyingi especially za UEFA kwa hapa Tanzania hua ni mida ya usiku, other matches zinaisha hadi saa 7 usiku.. Upekweeee... Roho inakuuma, unaanza kuwaza mengine but utafanyaje wakati ndo hivyo the man is a soccer fanatic. Unavumilia tu. Ndo hivyo UEFA Champions League inaendelea, what can you do to keep your man close wakati wa msimu huu wa Soccer? Compromise! Kuna status ya mtu niliona on BBM na Facebook aliandika - Soccer, Wife, Kids in that order.. Imajin!
Sasa kama wanawake ni bora tushike namba the same na hiyo soccer. Cha kufanya :-

- Jipange uweke satellite dish ili asipate reason ya kwenda kuangalia soccer bar.
- Mnunulie his favourite beer au whisky jaza pale home
- Andaa kuku choma au nyama choma
- Tell him aalike a few of his friends waje
- Ukishajua ni timu ipi  anaipenda impress him kwa kuvaa jezi ya timu hiyo au just be neutral na uvae top imeandikwa -  I LUV SOCCER or somthing of the sort

wee hii ni kama mpo wawili tu, kama washkaji zake wanakuja - tafuta kingine cha chini..
- Isiishie hapa, birthday yake - mtafutie something to do with footbal eg A jersey ya his favourite team ambayo imeandikwa jina lake nyuma, towel, an autographed soccer ball ( hii shughuli hadi uipate), a watch etc...
Haya tujaribu ku compromise eeh...
Kuna nilichosahau? Rukhsa kuongezea...

have a lovely day
xoxo