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Friday, February 24, 2012

Tatua Thursday - On a Friday...

                                              


Hello..
Jana ilibidi nikakutane na mtu ambaye alihitaji tumsaidie kutatua tatizo lake hapa. Ni rafiki yangu wa kike for many years (jina kapuni). Alipokua University alikua na relationship with an amazing guy. And walielewana na kupendana sana sana sanaaa... Tatizo likaja kwenye dini - Demu mwislamu, jamaa ni christian, so automatically wazazi wakakataa hadi jamaa akubali kusilimishwa. The guy hakua tayari kwa hilo so mahusiano yakakatishwa!!!
Waliumia sana wote wawili, but wakasema Life Goes On. The lady is very very beautiful so baada ya muda si mrefu akapata another guy. I met the guy - alikua mwenye heshima, intelligent, funny, loving and caring. My friend aka fall in love and so did the guy (he's muslim). The guy aka propose after a year, rafiki yangu aka accept, ndoa ikafungwa. I wished them all the best in their marriage. Sijaongea na my friend deeply kwa miaka kama miwili. Yaani ni ile juu juu tu, mambo vipi.. She gave birth to a son, now ana miaka 2 na nusu.
Sasa juzi nikawa nachat naye.. Tukajuliana hali then nikamuuliza vipi shem wangu hajambo? Akanijibu "Hamna tena shem, tumeachana." Nilistuka! Nikamwambia - But you guys were soo happy and so in love, what went wrong?
Akaniambia - "Barbara 'usichokijua kweli ni sawa na usiku wa kiza. I rushed kwenye ile marriage. Ningekaa zaidi kwenye relationship ningemjua my ex husband vizuri."
Nikamwambia - Yote kwa yote mamiii.. Hujafikisha 30 umeshakua divorced, what have you planned for the future na mtoto je?
Akanijibu - " Hata usiende huko because I'm pregnant na my ex husband nasubiria mtoto wa 2, ila nimechoka sana so whatever goes poa tu. Ila siwezi kumrudia . Nitawalea wanangu mwenyewe."
I was very disappointed kwa sababu yule shem wangu siku ya kwanza kukutana naye I liked him na nikamwambia my friend huyu anakufaa because anakuelewa sana.. Kumbeeeeee
Sasa jana ndo nikaenda kuongea na my friend kwa undani zaidi.. Akasema
"Shem wako alianza kwanza having affairs, sio mara 1 wala 2. Kama hiyo haitoshi si unajua mi nina biashara zangu? Akaanza kuniibia hela na hata my jewellery. Kitu nakiweka nikirudi hakipo. Wakati mi na yeye tu ndo tuna funguo za chumbani kwetu. Kali kuliko zote ni nilipogundua kuwa anatumia drugs!!!!"

                          
Nilishusha pumzi. Anyway here's a lady hajafikisha hata miaka 30. Ana mtoto mwenye miaka 2 na nusu na ni mja mzito. From the same guy. Yeye swali lake ni - watu watamchukuliaje? Anaogopa atasemwa na watu kuwa since ametoka familia bora basi watu wataona yeye ndo alikua akimpelekesha jamaa na hata labda kum introduce kwa hizo drugs because alisoma nje.
At times like this ndo tunaonyesha upendo kwa marafiki zetu. Kama this friend of mine right now, she needs love, care and understanding.
Mawazo and advice yako itakua very appreciated.

Much love.
xoxo

4 comments:

  1. Kwanza nimpongeze huyu dada kwa hatua aliyofikia ya kuwa na familia, then mtoto na pia anatarajia mtoto mwingine, ni hatua kubwa kimaisha.
    Pili nampa pole kwa changamoto zote alizopitia, kwanza kwa kuvunja mahusiano na m2 waliyependana kwa dhati kwa sabab za kiimani......well cwezi kuzungumza mengi hapa, ni eneo nyeti sana tunapofika hapo, unaweza kuwalaumu hata hao waliosababisha mahusiano kuvunjika(parents/relatives). Lkn hapa ndo ladies tunakuwa victims, ati a man hawezi kufuata dini ya mwamke(mara nyingi) lkn mwanamke ndo anatakiwa afuate mwenzie, mh! well sasa cjui hapo mapenzi yako wapi, kwa wapenzi ama kwa ndugu....
    Hii storry inazua mijadala mingi, lkn twende kwenye point, huyu dada she's now pregnant expecting a baby so she needs kind of support at the moment. well uamuzi mzuri amechukua wa kuachana na huyu jamaa(husband) kwa sababu 2 kuu, si muaminifu ktk mahusiano, alaf ni "drug addict". Hizi ni risk behaviors kwa maambukizi ya magonjwa ya zinaa hasa HIV! Well tunaambiwa tuvumilie wenzi wetu wa ndoa lkn mengine ni zaidi ya too much. Ni bora kuachana kuliko kuhatarisha maisha yako na ya wanoa, wote hamna hatia!!!
    Namshauri atulie, ajifungue, na kama ana uwezo wa kulea hoa watoto, afanye hivyo peke yake. ana biashara zitamsaidia coz kwa sasa pia si muda wa kufikira kuanza mahusiano mengine mapema, achukue muda atafakari na kama mwenyewe alivyosema asikimbilie mahusiano mapya, inaweza kuwa story nyingine tena mbaya zaidi, I belive wanawake tunaweza kwa hiyo aweza lea wanae wote bila msaada wa mwanaume, and kama bado huyo husband anafikiria waweza rudiana basi ampeleke rehab centres, may be aweza badilika coz he's the father of the kids, and he should be responsible.
    2012 duniia yako chaguo lako.............

    ReplyDelete
  2. Duh asiee mpe pole sana huyo shosti ila ki ukeweli nimemuonea huruma sana tena sana coz i know this situation coz even myself am going the same situation na husband wangu ni kuhusu hz habari za kutengana,sasa huyo best alichokosea ni kupta hiyo mimba ya pili coz naamini ndo inazidi kumpa sana stress lakini ndo hivyo ishatokea cha muhimu aaangalie usalama wake na watoto kama huyo mme wake hana fujo wala nini bora avumilie tu hapo hapo kwa mume wake asiondoke at least their kids watajua wako kwa baba na mama ila kama kuna dalili zozote za huyo jamaaa kufanya kitu kibaya kwa mke wake kutokana na hizo tabia zake its better ashift arudi kwa wazazi wake au atafute sehemu n yingine akae if she can afford then asahau kitu kinaitwa ndoa na kitu kinaitwa mume aishi mwenyewe awatunze na kuwalea watoto wake, aiseee ila ki ukweli roho inaniuma sana kuhusu wanaume wa sasa hv sijui wamepatwa na shetani gani na hz ndoa za sasa mi ndo sina hamu kabisa Babra

    ReplyDelete
  3. frankly speaking the guy isn`t right for your friend! so aachane nae asije akamletea matatizo baade esp. HIV wakati ana watoto wake wadogo wanamtegemea so aachane nae ataishi vizuri na bila kusahau kumuweka MUNGU mbele kwani yy ni kila kitu kwetu.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello! mpe pole sana dada! pia hongera zake! kuhusu uhusiano wa kwanza kiukweli kuhusu imani inakua ngumu, na hasa ukikutana na viongozi wetu wa dini, wote tunaelewa maisha ya duniani ni ya kupita na mapenzi yapo kila cku.

      Ok kwa vile wote ni waislam its ok kuachana lkn yule atabaki kuwa baba wa watoto wake, na haipendezi pale watoto watakapokua na kumuona baba yao kama chizi fulani, itawasononesha kwa kweli.

      Cha msingi awe mbali naye pia aombe mungu na ajaribu kuomba msaada kwa watu, waangalie jinsi gani ataweza kumtoa huyo baba katika hali hiyo, kwa vile inawezekana ili isije kuwaumiza watoto hapo baadaye, na hata wasije kuleta lawama kwa mama yao, kwa kuhoji alichukua hatua gani baada ya baba yao kuwa katika hali hiyo.

      Delete

 

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