Limbwata....

                 

                                    
                           Huyu ndo Shanita mwenyewe akiwa na moja kati ya magari yake ya kifahari..

Hi,
Katika gazeti la leo la Uhuru ukurusa wa 2 kuna habari kuhusu msichana wa miaka 25 Shanita Nalukenge (Mganda) na a married businessman David Greenhalgh (England) ambapo inasemekana kuwa David amemfikisha Shanita mahakamani after Shanita kumtapeli David 7.8 Billion Tsh. Na wanasema jamaa alipewa limbwata na the lady ndo maana akawa hafurukuti na kummwagia Shanita mihela kisawasawa zikiwemo Pound 400,000 aliyompa siku ya birthday yake! David kamind sanaaaaa ila anasema hamind kuwa Shanita aliiba hela yake na kuitumia vibaya bali kuwa she was spending his money na vijana wadogo ambayo walikua wanamtukana! Mbona kama jamaaa ana wivu tuu.. Hehehhehe! Anyway for more of that story cheki humu
http://allafrica.com/stories/201111090765.html  

                                                      David huyu hapa...

Baada ya kusoma this story nikawa najiuliza Kuna ukweli gani kuhusu limbwata? Kuna mtu akanambia " weee unaona jinsi wanaume wa Kihaya walivyo wakorofi na wagumu lakini kwa wake zao kimya! Unajua sababu?" Mie kimya!!! Eti ni kweli?
Naambiwa kuna aina nyingi za limbwata - kuna Kaligoligo ambayo eti hii inavuka hadi bahari!! Hahhaahha! Mutaniua kwa kucheka!
Tuanze kwa kujiuliza - Limbwata ni nini? Limbwata ni dawa ya kumfanya mtu akupende zaidi - unakuwa husikii wala huelewi... 

Kati ya Limbwata zilizopo, I heard kali zinatokea Bukoba. Eti kuna - Shuntama (Maana kwa Kiswahili - Inama) Kila utakachoambiwa utafanya! Eg -  Mwanamke: Nifulie chupi zangu - Mume: Haya mpenzi. Mwanamke: Nipikie chapati - Mume: Haya La azizi ( Mume anapinda mugongo!! Hahahahahahahah!!! I'm sorry but this is too funny!! Khaa!! Hivi ya kweli haya? Haya naambiwa pia kuna  -  Genda Ogaruke (Yaani Nenda Urudi) - yaani utakwenda kisha ukifika huko utamkumbuka demu na utarudia.
Jinsi ya kutengeneza Genda Ogaruke siijui - Labda utufahimishe if you know.. But nimegusiwa jinsi ya kutengeneza Shuntama - Eti unachukua a piece of meat kisha unaweka in your private parts for 3 days - unaitoa wakati kwa kuoga au kujisaida kisha unairudishia. After 3 days unaitoa unaichanganya na nyama fresh na kuikaanga - kisha unampa bwana anakula. Baada ya hapo!!! Hahahahahahah!!!! Atafanya kila utakalona kukupa kila utakacho!!! Hahahahahahahaha! Jamani sorry nacheka sana leo... Nimefurahi tu...

Tanga - Limbwata - Unakwenda kwa mganga unamwambia shida yako... Anataengeneza some powder from Love herbs kisha unakuagiza upeleke some stuff zako au za huyo unayetaka akupende  eg - kucha za toes and fingers, pubic hair au nywele za kawaida. Kisha anazifanyia Love spell akitaja jina la huyo umtakaye akupende. Unamuekea kwenye chakula then anatakiwa akupende na kukujali kupitiliza after that..

Hivi kweli Limbwata exists au hao wanaotengeneza they play with our psychology?
Niliona this article from - http://www.http//worldhotstars.blogspot.com  nikaipenda sanaaaa...



LIMBWATA FACTSA) If LIMBWATA is to allow your wife to be a partner and participant informulating the family budget, then I support it, becoz women are wiser spenders than men.

B) If LIMBWATA means that the family money is used by Mama Watoto topurchase stuff at Kariakoo rather than being drunk by the husband atRIVERSIDE or GAZA ONE then I support that men are affected by LIMBWATAz

C) If a LIMBWATAz husband is the one who won't spend ALL the monthly salary with NYUMBA NDOGO or at KITIMOTO Bar (while his KIDS starve) then HONGERA to all LIMBWATAz husbands.

E) If LIMBWATA means that a MUME spends quality time with his MKE and WATOTO, instead of engaging in dubious investments where he is CONNED then; "Watu Walishwe LIMBWATA forever".

F) If LIMBWATA means that when MKEO is SICK you help her with work,that when she is over burdened you extend a helping hand then LONG LIVE LIMBWATAz

G) If LIMBWATA means that you DON'T BEAT UP your wife, that you seekassistance from your wife for they are called helpers when you have tried all the altanertives in vain, then LIMBWATAz LIDUMU MAISHA .

H) If LIMBWATA means that you treat your wife as a human being, that you are polite, don't bark at her like a dog, DONT growl at her like a hyena, consider that after work she is as stressed as you are then VIVA LIMBWATAz.

I) If LIMBWATA means that you are at home after work, and that your wife and kids are your next of KIN then HONGERA WALE WOTE WALIOLISHWA LIMBWATA.Na ukae hivyo hivyo kaka! KAMA UMELISHWA LIMBWATA, WEWE NI BINGWA!!
Tell you WIFE to add More LIMBWATA
                      
                                        
                                         
                                                                                     

Hugs and kisses,
mwaaaah