Nimekua kimya sana.. Nisamehe bure for that... Im not married na wala siko kwenye relationship - for now.. Nimeamua kuwa mwenyewe for a while, Coz wanasema - Ujipende wewe kwanza na kujikubali then mengine yatafuata. Labda nilichelewa kupata this advice but i think it's due time mimi kuifuata advice and soo far soo good.
I have friends - girl frieinds walishawahi kuwa kwenye mahusiano very serious and some hata marriage, ila most walishindwa and wakaamua kuomba divorce. Ukiwauliza why - well... very long story.. Wengine walikua wanapigwa na their ex husbands, wengine wanadharauliwa, wengine waume wanalewa sana, wengine "vicheche"!!! Anyway kuna mtu nilikua naongea naye akawa anasema - jamaniii mwenza wako sio ndugu yako... At least utavumilia tabia za nduguyo coz u were born together and mumekua wote umemsoma poa na utaweza kuvumilia. But mtu umekuja kukutana naye ukiwa mkubwa utaweza vumilia kweli? You need to have a very strong heart and uvumilivu wa hali wa juu kuweza kuishi na mtu.
Niliongea pia na mdada mmoja juzi tu akaniambia dadake kadumu in her marriage for 30 good years. I was impressed! Ila akasema ujue ndoa au tuseme mume ni kama biashara mpya. Ukianzisha a new business (lets say ya kununua nguo na mapochi Dubai and kuuza Dar) sio zote huanza vizuri. Most of them zinapata matatizo kama mzigo kupotea, wateja kukataa kulipa, mzigo kudoda etc etc. U have to work extra hard kufikisha Business yako katika a good level ambapo itaweza kujisamia yenyewe na kulipa wafanyakazi pamoja na wewe kupata profit.
Before you get into a relationship ina maana ujipange hasahasa. sio tu kuingia for the sake of wewe pia kutambuliwa una boyfriend! Kwani wasokua nao hufa of loneliness? Ndo hapo unaishia kujikuta ur in a relationship isiyo na kichwa wala miguu ambayo hata hakieleweki inakoelekea. Which itapelekea ndoa ambayo ipo ipo tu. Maybe hata hukumpenda huyo bwana, haya ndo hivyo ushakua mke wake, unakuta Mungu wangu! ana vitabia vya ajabu! Labda anakoroma usiku kucha, ana tabia ya kutema tema mate, kusafisha koo kila wakati, kushika mbele, kuchokora pua, kujamba jamba ( hahahahah )! Kwa vile hujazoea vitu hivi si ndo unaanza kuongea na your girls ukiwaambia "taabu" unazopata kwenye ndoa yako! Ukiondoka wanakuchora wanakuchekaaaaaa! "Si aliingia kichwa kichwa kwenye ndoa" Utawaskia wanaongea!
Anyway, hizi ni views zangu tu. Nikijaribu kufanya kaji reearch ka why we have soooo many divorces in our jamii siku hizi.
Jumatatu I'll tell you more manake weekend hii ntaendelea na kiji research kangu. Ila nawe kama una maoni au unajua, kindly let me know... drop me an email au hata sms.. +255 795 008500
And just for laughs.... here you go...
have a lovely weekend,
xoxo
I guess marriage just like any relationship for it to work it requires a change in self-identity, self discipline humility and understanding of the extreme difference between men and women in so many things be character or how to behave in public or personal hygiene.
ReplyDeleteLove creates compromises and if you truly love somebody and want to be with them for the rest of your life then I guess there are things you will have to give up and things you will have to put up with and can also direct your partner in the right direction.
P.S. No one should put up with an abusive partner if you partner put his or her hands on you you don't need to be with them.
Hahahaaaaaaaaa, Nimecheka mpaka basi! Jamani hivyo vijitabia ni viiingi, you mention it! Vinabore mbaya, halafu vije vichanganyike na ubishi weee eeeh, Utasoma kimyakimya. Hongera saaaana Bidada Barbara kwa hiyo Leave uliojipa, Nafikiri ni muhimu.
ReplyDeleteElmmy
Tumekupata vizuri. Wengine tuko kwenye ndoa mwaka wa kumi huu lakini bado tunaendelea kushangaana. Kazi kweli kweli.
ReplyDeletePole anonymous wa 3.... tutajie bas vijitabia vingine...
ReplyDeleteElmmy - hehehhehehe.. Ubishi nomaaa.. Kama mimi hapa duuuuuu... Atakayenioa analo!
Anon wa 1 - Key word - COMPROMISE! Well said...
Couldn't help but notice "Atakayenioa analo" are you that difficult to deal with ama ni mmoja wa wale 'it's my way or the highway?"
ReplyDeletehahhah barbara ni kweli kabisa uliyosema
ReplyDeleteBarbara mie huwa napenda kukusikiliza kwenye powerbreakfast huwa unaongea English nzuri sana umesoma wapi mwenzetu? napenda na mie niweze kuongea kama wewe ila sijui nitafanyaje elimu yangu form iv, anyways nirudi kwenye topic tabia zingine wa kwangu ananiudhi huwa wakati anakunywa supu au chai anavuta kwa sauti huwa inanikera sana nimejaribu kumwelimisha haelewi sijui?
ReplyDeleteBarbara bwana we ndoa isikie huwezi kuipangia uishije humo ndani tafrani tupu kweli kila mtu ana jinsi alivyo, mwenzio wangu kila kitu anatupa chini akivua nguo anatupa chini akisoma gazeti anatupa chini soksi anatupa kule nina kazi ya kuokota kila kitu hana utaratibu kabati tuna share kila mtu na upande wake basi huo wake umejaa makaratasi midocument magazeti yaani haufai nimepanga mpaka nimechoka siku hizi nauchunia simpangii. Kasumba zingine nitajaza ukurasa nina mwaka wa 8 ukisikia uvumilivu sio kazi ndogo kuna kuvumilia ndani ya ndoa we acha tu best.
ReplyDeleteDOSCA
hahahaaaa nimecheka leo cjapita cku nyingi humu leo nimepita nimecheka.kiukweli ndoa ngumu mno na humo kwenye ndoa kuna vituko me wa kwangu hujamba ovyo ananikera ile mbaya lkn ndio hivyo nifanyeje.
ReplyDelete